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Somebody clowned you.
A giant clown, mailed to anyone you like. $7.99, we handle the stamp, and they never have to know it was you.
Pick your victimFor adults 18+. US postage included. Charges appear as CLOWN O GRAM on your statement. Optional message up to 120 characters. Eighteen letter styles to choose from, plus seasonal specials. Or try the $5.99 Mini Classic.
Pick your letter
🎖️ Promoted to Senior Clown
An official notice that, effective immediately, they've been promoted to Senior Clown. Congratulations are in order.
Send this one
🎓 Clown College Diploma
A Bachelor of Honk-ology, graduated summa cum laughe. All that tuition finally paid off.
Send this one
🚗 Clown Car Driver's License
Licensed to cram 27 clowns into one compact car. Restrictions: must honk at all times.
Send this one
📉 Demoted to Junior Clown
An official HR write-up. Reasons include insufficient honking and shoes that are far too small.
Send this one
🎈 Certified Best Clown Friend
For birthdays, friendiversaries and random Tuesdays. Friends for clown-ever.
Send this one
💕 Certificate of Clown Adoption
A clown has officially adopted them. Comes with care instructions. No take-backs.
Send this one
😢 Sad Clown
A sad clown has been dispatched to their address. For “I miss you,” “thinking of you” or “sorry I messed up.”
Send this one
💒 Wedding Clown-gratulations
Official notice: two clowns have joined forces. For weddings, engagements and anniversaries. You may now honk the bride.
Send this one
👔 Certified Clown-in-Law
Officially accepted into the family circus. Duties include laughing at the father-in-law’s jokes and never beating him at golf.
Send this one
⚡ Certified Clown Autopilot
The car is silent, the driver is not. Hands on the wheel, clown. The car is only half driving itself.
Send this one
🔺 Stainless Steel Clown Car Registration
Registered: one vehicle drawn entirely with a ruler. Nobody asked how bulletproof it is.
Send this one
⛽ Official Notice of Clown Combustion
For gas-car diehards asking “but what if the battery catches fire?” while standing next to a gas tank. Vroom on, clown.
Send this oneFor the Boomers
For the people who still call it “the Facebook.”
📺 Certified Boomer Clown
Certified for printing MapQuest directions, saying “back in my day” twice per meal and replying-all to the family email.
Send this one
👍 Your Facebook Has Been Reviewed
Clown auditors found 47 Minion memes and three posts that just say “Amen.” Promoted to Senior Social Media Clown.
Send this one
☎️ Clown Tech Support Ticket
We turned the internet off and back on. Your password is still Password1. From the Clown Help Desk, on hold since 1987.
Send this one
🌧️ Meteorological Clownery
Predicted a historic storm and got a light dusting? Officially name them Chief Forecasting Clown.
Send this oneSame $7.99 price, same optional message. Choose your style at checkout.
Mini Classic, $5.99
The original Clown O Gram, with a small (but sincere) clown instead of the giant one. Same real letter, same optional message, same anonymous option, US postage included.
Send a Mini Classic for $5.99 Clown O Grams Merch
Wear the clown. Sip from the clown. Stick the clown on things. US shipping included in every price.
Certified Clown Sticker 3-Pack
$17.99
Three 4×4 in kiss-cut vinyl stickers. One for you, two for your victims.
Great add-on to any orderBuyGot clowned? Send the original Clown O Gram letter to someone else for $7.99.
Clown emoji: OpenMoji (1F921), CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified: recolored/scaled, combined with text; hat version simplified for embroidery. These merch designs are licensed CC BY-SA 4.0.
How it works
Order online
Click Order and check out securely through Stripe. Enter the recipient's name and US mailing address.
Add your message (or don't)
Write an optional message of up to 120 characters and choose whether to include your name or stay anonymous.
We print & mail it
We print your Clown O Gram and send it by USPS First-Class Mail. Most letters arrive in about 3–7 business days.
Price
- One full-page, full-color letter in your choice of eighteen clown styles (plus seasonal specials)
- Optional custom message (up to 120 characters)
- Anonymous sending option at no extra cost
- Mailed in an envelope to any US address
FAQ
What exactly does the recipient get?
An envelope containing a single printed page: a giant clown emoji , or one of our official-looking clown documents (Senior Clown promotion, Clown College diploma, clown car driver's license, Junior Clown demotion memo, or clown adoption certificate), plus your optional message. The letter is clearly from Clown O Grams.
Can I send it anonymously?
Yes. Choose "send anonymously" at checkout and we won't include your name. The letter will show it came from Clown O Grams, and we won't share who sent it unless we're legally required to (see our Terms). To prevent abuse, an address can receive only one anonymous letter every 30 days.
Where can you mail to?
Any valid US mailing address, including PO boxes. We don't ship internationally yet.
How long does delivery take?
We usually send letters to print within 1–2 business days of your order. USPS delivery typically takes another 3–7 business days.
What can I write in the message?
Up to 120 characters of good-natured fun. We review messages and will refuse (and fully refund) anything harassing, threatening, hateful, or obscene.
How do I pay?
Payments are processed securely by Stripe. We accept major credit and debit cards. The charge appears on your statement as CLOWN O GRAM. We never see or store your full card number.
I got a Clown O Gram and don't want any more.
Add your address on our opt-out page (or email hello@clownograms.com) and we'll add it to our do-not-clown list.
Policies
Full versions: Terms of Service · Privacy Policy · Refund Policy
Refund policy
- Cancel before printing (same business day, before 11:59 PM ET) for a full refund.
- Misprinted, damaged or lost letters are reprinted free. Refunds are processed within 5 business days.
- If we reject your message under our Terms, you get a full refund.
- If a letter comes back undeliverable, we'll resend it to a corrected address or refund you, your choice.
- To request help, email hello@clownograms.com with your order email.
Terms
- Clown O Grams is a novelty greeting meant to be funny and harmless. Letters are not official documents.
- You must be 18+, and so must the recipient.
- We may refuse any order or message that is harassing, threatening, hateful, obscene, or otherwise inappropriate.
- Every letter clearly comes from Clown O Grams. Anonymous means we hide the sender's name, not that we hide who mailed it.
- Anyone can opt out of receiving Clown O Grams on our opt-out page. We won't mail to addresses on our do-not-clown list.
- You must provide a real recipient and must not use the service to harass anyone.
Privacy
- We use recipient names and addresses only to print and mail your letter.
- We don't sell or share your information, except with our printing and mailing provider as needed to deliver the letter.
- Payments are processed by Stripe. We never receive or store your full card details.
- We keep the sender's identity private when "anonymous" is selected, unless disclosure is legally required.
- Recipient addresses and messages are deleted 90 days after an order.
Contact
Questions, order help, or opt-out requests:
hello@clownograms.com
Mail: Clown O Grams, 389 Waller Ave, Ste 130 #141, Lexington, KY 40504
Clown O Grams · Lexington, KY